An artist of any sort knows that the one thing that must be surrendered again and again is perfection. If you wait for perfection, you will never pick up that brush, lift that camera, cut that fabric, post that blog.
And so, I’m throwing aside my perfectionism today. I’m ignoring the fact that I haven’t blogged since last June and my words feel clunky under my fingers. I’m choosing to post imperfectly on purpose because there is beauty not only in the product, but in the process.
Did you think that was my Five Minute Friday post? Haha–gotcha! The real post is below because I wanted to share something God did in my heart this weekend at the You Are Conference. But it’s funny how even the act of writing about surrender requires it’s own surrender.
In the darkened room my eyes were lifted to the bright stage.
“In the places we surrender,” she said, “God is preparing a victory.”
She asked us to create a picture in our minds: our biggest worries in our hands, palms open, trusting.
I could hear my heart in my temples as I looked down at my lap. I imagined my fingers wrapped tightly around the worries I guard, and my fingers curled involuntarily.
In one hand, I saw my bleary-eyed exhaustion of early motherhood, the heaviness of my eye bags echoing the heaviness of this thought: “I will never be rested again.” I saw the way I clutched at naps and cringed at cries and felt ready to shed tears of utter depletion.
In the other hand lay a dear hope for an even dearer man, flickering like a candle almost spent. My heart caught with a sob in my throat.
In the places we surrender, God is preparing a victory.
“Now imagine the best, most wonderful outcome you can possibly dream for the things in your hands. Go ahead,” she urged, “do it now.
She paused, giving us space to obey. Her next words shot through me like the first fingers of dawn.
“Whatever you just dreamed, no matter how incredible and wonderful”–she looked straight in my direction and beat her hand with each word–“God. Can. Do. Better.”
What things do YOU hold in your hands, friend? What do you worry over, stress or obsess about? What is the prayer you have prayed so long that you now barely hope?
I have been telling my heart over and over and I tell you now: Jesus is MUCH better than we think He is.
His love is more lavish, his heart more hope-filled, his power more potent, and his goodness more wildly generous and high and deep than the best we’ve ever believed! Let him hold you. Let him be good to you. Surrender.